It all started a long time ago. I never had to struggle for the right words to use in writing. They all just come out when I want them to. I’ve always been good with words. God gave me the gift of language. He just didn’t shower me with much confidence to use this gift both in oral and written form but from time to time, this natural gift just comes out.
Long ago, I created my own fantasy world. This is my gift of dreams and imagination. “I have always been a dreamer”. Sometimes, I am a teacher, speaking in front of my beloved students. Oftentimes, I am a singer, singing my heart out, eventhough I never dreamed to perform on stage. For a while, I’ve been an actress and a dancer, applauded by the crowd. I’ve flown into space in a capsule and captured the beauty of outer space, of the galaxies, in my photographs. I’ve drawn the waterfalls, painted the meadow of flowers and sketched the lady in the street. I’ve handled my own book and gift shop and volunteered in the remote areas of the country to help the less fortunate ones. And I’ve seen my own books being bought by a lot of people frequenting the bookstores nationwide.
Yes, I have always been a dreamer. I’ve created my own fantasy world. I’ve created a happy family of my own—three kids fathered by the man I love. I’ve built a lot of foundations for the people out there, extending their hands, reaching out for people like me, ready to help…for people like me, given the gift of compassion.
I’ve been here, there and everywhere. I’ve created a lot of different worlds in my mind. But they’re only in my mind. I could never really tell the future. I am not God. Yes, I have the gift of strong intuition. I could easily tune in to people and animals. I could see the truth in their eyes and in their words and in their actions. I could always feel what’s coming to me and what’s going to happen, but only God holds the future. I should always be ready for anything. I must face the future confidently…and with dignity.
The world is full of beautiful things. Life is full of uncertainties. We make plans. We dream. We reach for our goals. We practice determination, discipline, faith and confidence but sometimes, things turn into nightmares. Our ambitions seem too far. The stars seem less bright and farther up in the sky. “We walk the boulevard of broken dreams”. Our faith crumbles. The crystals of our life shatter into a million pieces. We feel we could never pick up the pieces again. Our life looks like a puzzle. We feel tired, broken and used.
But nobody said that life will be fair. God intended it to be—for us to have a life of hardships and trials for us to learn to trust Him. We may never understand His reasons but He is a just God. He knows what’s good for us. We just have to follow His will and be contented with what we have, constantly thanking Him and continuing to reach our goals…still dreaming and reaching for those stars. “They would never really be far”. They’re just there shining brightly over us.
Life is beautiful. Even with all our sufferings, we would never really be alone. We must learn to search our hearts, ease up our minds, look into our souls. Nothing is certain in this world but God’s love. Life is full of uncertainties, but if we will look into ourselves, we will find the happiness we are looking for. It’s just inside us, together with God. “With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world”.
Yes, I have a lot of gifts, and these gifts must be shared to others. For gifts are meant to be shared, or they will mean nothing. That’s why I thank God for all my gifts, but most of all, I’m grateful to Him for giving me the gift of understanding because now, I realized, everything stems from this. Because I’ve learned to understand…I learned to accept, to be confident, to have courage, to be humble, to have faith, and the greatest of all these is…I learned how to love…because this is the greatest gift—LOVE. Without love, it is not a beautiful world. Without love, I am nothing.
(first appeared in “Tugatog”, 2009)
